I keep a “secret bank account. She knows about it but does not have access to it. The problem is one of boundaries and control. She wants to keep track of every penny, and used to hound me for days to account for 25 cents that I had misplaced... i am not exaggerating.

She used to argue over whether I should have spent $2 for a bottle of pepsi when we had some at home. I could have waited 10 minutes and not spent that money.

We went to counseling a couple of times, but to her, the only reason to be there was to fix me.

We get along great in other ways, just not on money matters.

So instead of a divorce I just started keeping my own account with my own money. I don't have to defend buying a Pepsi anymore or even lunch. Really the only options i had were divorce or my own account.

She doesn't like it but has accepted it. When you are dealing with a strong person who does not get boundaries, you have to take extreme action at times.

It can be infidelity to keep money secret, but it can also be about survival.