I think the problem is the modern american culture wants the church to conform to them, instead of the other way around

You mentioned the guy not being on church staff because he was living with someone romantically that he was not married to. I dont really agree with it either, but the bible is pretty clear about what fornication is

How would it look for a church to teach you should not be fornicating wiht peope you are not married to, and have a staff member violating that teaching ... then you could wring a story about that church being hypocrical for having that guy on staff.

I dont agree with it either, and i really dont agree with monogamy..but the church and the bible are pretty clear. its still up to me what i do. .. i dont think its right to question the "real" christianity of anyone who does not agree with me, or that will let me call sin good.

I dont think the church needs to bend to our sensitivities.