When God Deserted Me

James Jordan
6 min readFeb 1, 2019
Feelings of despair when you don’t know what is going on. Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash

One time I did not feel God’s presence was a time that perhaps I should have felt it most. A bewildering time when I could not hear God at all.

I don’t think God really deserted me, though it felt like it at the time. Religion, or the church, certainly left me feeling betrayed.

I had just graduated seminary. I had left my career in journalism to enter the ministry. As I graduated I was not too worried, even though everyone I was graduating with already had ministries lined up. But a year later I still had not had so much as an interview for a position, and the reality set in. I had worked my tail off for three years to prepare, and I was resoundingly rejected.

I was hurt and angry, and I looked to the heavens for answers and found none. What did it all mean? Why had I worked so hard? Why was the door slammed shut in my face? Questions with no answers. And now A God who apparently had deserted me as well.

A bout of depression soon set in. Soon I did not even want to hear from God. We had nothing to say to each other anyway.

Photo by Robert Nyman on Unsplash

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James Jordan

Teller of tales, many of which are actually true. Award-winning journalist, and the William Allen White Award for reporting.